A day in parenthood

Last night I went to bed a little late. Not because I consciously did so, but because I was trying to finish part of a project I have been working on the last couple of weeks. It wasn't till I glanced up and looked at the clock did I realize it was 12:37. Well I immediately got up and shut down the house and closed my project.

Sleep is very important to my productivity on a normal day so with these extraordinary circumstances, well you know.

Last night, even though Barrett slept through the night, Addie had a nightmare. At about 5am she was knocking on my door. I was so tired I could barely comprehend what she was saying. I was able to make out "Can I be with you, Mama?"

Of course I agreed. She hoped on Jeremy's side of the bed, tried to chat with me, to which I promptly replied it was nighttime and to go to sleep. When I woke up to feed Barrett at about 7, she was sound asleep cuddled up as close to me as possible.

We ended up waking up about 8:15.

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I apparently wasn't paying enough attention to Addie when working on a different project. She came up to what I was working on and poured milk on it. At first thought it was an accident till I looked up and saw that she had done it intentionally. 

I took a moment of...course correction...and sent her to her room. Two minutes later I hear, "Mama, I happy. Can I please come down?" She had to wait her allotted 3 minutes before she came down.

I took those 3 minutes to re-prioritize what I was doing (also taking a moment to reflect on my own behavior) and put away what I was working on and then I opened my computer to lds.org and looked up controlling emotions. I came up with the talk "Agency and Anger" by Lynn G. Robbins (great talk by the way) and read "A cunning part of his [Satan] strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control.  

When Addie was allowed to come back down stairs, she got special Addie and Mommy time.

Please don't judge...I was taking the photo and don't actually look this big

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Today, Barrett had his 5 month check up (He is healthy and strong, by the way.) The doctor noticed that he is rather attached to me. I was like, "Well, ya, duh." 

She elaborated, saying that he looks at me and say "Mmma Mmmmo Mmma." She said that it was rather early for him to do that and that he must love his mama. 

Ever since she told me this I have noticed him doing it all day. I don't know why (okay maybe I do,) but this has made me smile each time.

I added this last photo for Jer -- Barrett was holding Addie's hand! So cute.

Living the Dream

  "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage;

be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God

is with thee whithersoever thou goest."

-Joshua 1:9

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My last week has been a little stressful. I was trying my best to prepare for Jeremy leaving. Laundry, Groceries, small fixes around the house, and trying to squeeze in a date were just a couple things on my page long list.

I kept asking that time would go slower. I wanted time to go slower, and yet it seem to keep just racing by me. I somehow was able to get it all done but it was on the heels of Jeremy leaving.

I dropped him of at the airport last night. I told him how much I loved him and to be safe (I might have shed a couple of tears as well.) I rallied my spirit and drove away.

 

As I drove away from my husband and home to my kids I talked with my Heavenly Father. He comforted me just like He always does. He listened to all my worries and fears, even those that were totally unrelated to my current "crisis".

I walked in my door with my spirit strengthened. I know I can do this. I have done it before and I know I will have to do it again. This will hardly be my last trial in life.

One of Jeremy's favorite answers when some one asks him how he is doing is "Living the dream." Several times this week people have said this to me.It always makes me smile for I really do feel like I am living the dream.

I am so grateful for this life. And even though my dream is far from perfect, I am striving for it everyday. It requires sacrifice, courage, perseverance, and every ounce of prayer and faith I have in me. I know that at the end of all of this, each moment of hardship, will shine through not only myself but (hopefully) my children too. 

I really am living the dream. I get to experience joy and strive for something beyond myself.

I took of my blinders of today, and it was beautiful.

"Never stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart. But don’t close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life."

-Dieter F. Utchdorf, "Forget me not", LDS General Conference, Oct. 2011

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Today was just like any other Sunday. I got ready, went to church, and cooked a nice meal. Yet, today has felt so beautiful.

I often find myself reflecting on President Utchdorf's talks from this past conference. I know many found comfort and solace in these talks, but I felt them so personally. I had just had Barrett and I was feeling so frustrated with so many things (I get that way when I am tired.) Those talks were so impactful on my spirit that I often find in moments of reflections that I quote passages back to myself.

Today, while I didn't have the quiet I use to have before I had kids, I found my moment of reflection while the sacrament was being passed. I often feel overwhelmed with the task laid before. I some how get some of them done, but I realize that I don't pause as much as I should. After that thought came, I found so much joy in my day.

It started with Addie. I took a mental shot of her holding the hymn book because she wanted to sing. She knew not the words but she tried to hum the melody.

I reached over and held Jeremy's hand. This amazing man who has stood by my side and supported me in every endeavor, trial, and joyous time we have ever had, whether individually or collectively. He then grab my sweet Barrett, who was sleepy, and helped him be able to fall asleep.

I then was able to take Addie to primary. Did I tell you that? My little girl is in Primary! Anyways, I took her seat. She asked for hugs and kisses and then yelled, "I love you, mommy!" as I left for class. "I love you too, Addie" brought a smile to her face as she turned around to fold her arms.

I so enjoy watching Jeremy teach his class.

I often have to take Barrett out for his mid-day meal during that second hour. We always have great mommy - Barrett time. He likes playing games and I like making him smile.

And it was a day just like that. I made Barrett laugh (First time, by the way,) Addie snuggled up to me while we watched a movie, I watched Addie and Daddy play a game; Addie woke up from her nap early and was scared so Jeremy went to help her fall back asleep. He didn't come back so I went to check on him and he had fallen asleep next to her on the bed.

Don't get me wrong, the day had its hiccups. My cake fell, I was tired from the night before (two babies waking up - one from a nightmare the, the other having trouble sleeping,) there is also a pile of dishes in my sink currently. But, because I decided to look around instead of being so focus on the tasks that laid before me, I was able to find that my day was beautiful.

To success! New Year Resolutions

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.

-Abraham Lincoln

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I love my Resolution list. I started it two years ago and it helps me stay focus through out the year. I will have to show you my list I have around the house later. (You can see past resolutions here and here.)

Recap from last year:

• Being Crafty - I did pretty good with this. Not as well as I had hoped, but there was 4 months there where I couldn't really do much. But I did sew several things and make a couple things. I am currently redoing a dresser for Addie's room that should be done in a week or two. It would already be done but weather hasn't been permitting.
• Food storage - I knew going into this that I probably would be able to get the full year I was hoping for, BUT, I still did awesome! I got probably a good 8 months give or take. 

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Goals this year are:

#1- Lose 10-15lbs - If I can do this I can finally be back at pre-married weight. (Seriously, I wish I had never assumed that I would stay the same weight with that first pregnancy.  Sigh. Oh, well, lessons learned)

#2-  I need to work on capturing and recording memories more. I have several things to help me with this planned. First, blogging. I really haven't been putting any effort into it recently, so I am going to give it a new focus. Second, taking more photos. Last, I am planning on getting a journal for each kid and writing down facts and notes to them through out the year. Super excited about this and I will go into this more later.

#3- Focus on more spiritual things. I have been doing really well on this, but I know I could be doing better. I have already written my FHE plan for the next year as part of this resolution. (You can see it here)

#4- Genealogy. Pretty self explanatory, but I am so excited about this! I have always been such a history nerd.

So that is it! I totally broke my only 2-3 resolutions rule. We will see how it goes, wish me luck!

2011 in Review

Goodness I am trying to remember this year. So much has happen so I will just try to do a highlights version.

10 Facts:

1. Barrett entered our little family. That is probably the big news of the year.
2. Addie had not one, but two eye surgeries.
3.  I revamped my Scripture Study and it has pretty much rocked my world. 
4. We built and planted our square foot garden. 
5. Me and Addie got to spend some serious time with my family this summer while Jeremy was our working this summer.
6. We potty trained Addie.
7. Went to an Orchard and picked fresh Apples for the first time :) They were yummy
8. I survived a 14 mile hike 7 months pregnant.
9. Gave Addie her first "real" haircut. (I am going to have to do it again.)
10. Jer and I had a mini vacation for our honeymoon.

5 favorite things:

1. new little boy
2. weeks was how long it took for me to be back at my pre-pregnant weight.
3. years with a beautiful little girl
4. years of happily wedded bliss
5. billion is the number of times in a day that I am grateful that I have the family that I do.